Having a life-changing validation of who you are.
Here we are, I’ve shared many words thoughout this journey of posting and helping, of sharing and being trusted with emails and messages from many, many people. To each and every one of you, I am blessed and truly want to help each of you heal and grow and have love and balance with your family and loved-ones.
Thank You for your trust!!!
So, to my post! Well, as I’ve shared in many words, how my own journey has impacted so many people, people that I love, and I’ve carried responsibility for many mistakes, many of which were not mine to carry. And I’m reminded that if you endure the lows and trust in the positive energy you put out to others, eventually you will be rewarded with what you need. Not necessarily what you want, but absolutely what you need to feel life has balance.
It’s been a complicated few months, with lots of travel, deep regret for my own personal loss and many messages of support, all of which I am grateful for. I’ve shared with you all the impacts of the domestic violence I’ve personally experienced and the impact it had on my ability to make sense of my own choices, and even worse the impact on those I loved. However, yesterday was a truly ground breaking day!!!
I was gifted with an amazing and deeply rewarding moment that has now changed my life for ever.
You see, domestic violence when it’s mental and physiological will eventually distroy the most loving of souls, it takes away the essence of your spiritual nature and leaves just the husk, the shell. It’s a life where you become numb, or in my own case loose all vision of your self and then walk what seems to be a surreal journey trying to convince your self and others that you are actually an OK person. I spent so long feeling guilty and carrying the words spoken to me and those I loved, never really knowing when the next ambush was coming. Always in fear. Always!! Finally yesterday the truth presented its self.
When we are hurt, when we are in pain and unsure of who we are because of so many accusations and lies spoken about you, it’s inevitable that some of the shit said about you will stick.. See an earlier post about this issue. However, those of us who have been hurt, been lied about hope that one day the truth will present its self. Well my day came yesterday.
For years my accuser, my abuser and the person who attacked repetitively, called those I loved and spoke untruths about me. But finally the truth a come, finally I have been validated, I have had the “TRUE REASON” for all this hurt and pain presented to me. And it feels like I’ve been set free. That I’ve been given back my own life and handed back my soul and the part of me that was so ruthlessly taken.
Yesterday I was presented with the real reason my marriage failed… Not because of my TBI, not because of my choices, and not because of my children and more importantly the soul I’d moved on with and fallen in love with… I am validated, I am free to believe in me and to accept that my own illness is something I can navigate and heal from.
In many ways I am happy for my ex-wife, she’s finally found courage to come out!!! To be honest and to tell the world about her life choices.. It’s a courageous thing, and I hope she’s happy and feels complete.
Whats important for those of us who are navigating TBI and trauma of any kind, especially Domestic Violance, is to realise that there is potentially a deeply rooted problem and getting to the bottom of it may take years.
i am truly sad that people I love have been hurt and impacted due to my ex-wife’s inability to speak the truth about her own journey, but I’m left hoping that in time the truth will resonate through life’s ethos and validation will also come to those I love so deeply, as they say the truth will set you free.
And today I feel free from the heaviness I’ve carried for almost 10 years, free from guilt and free to believe in who I am and what I can do to help others heal from their illness and pain.
i give thanks for yesterday, for the truth, and I feel validated.
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